I sent (a slightly more detailed version of) this email to my coworkers this morning.  Aren’t I hilarious?

Whereas, most of the staff is out of the of office today; and

Whereas, the Windows PCs available to run Access are slow as hell; and

Whereas, the fastest available Windows PC reboots at random intervals; and

Whereas, my 3 year old, home built $600 computer is smokin’ compared to PCs in the office; and

Whereas, I need to do some serious data crunching in Access today; and

Whereas, my slippers are comfortable;

Therefore, be it resolved that I am staying home today to work on this Access data; and

Be it further resolved, should you need to contact me, I may be reached in email, AIM, Google Talk or my mobile phone.

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